What I Missed By Being Homeschooled

Written by Raquelle Sheen

Jul 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM

A common fear about homeschooling is that home-schooled children are going to “miss out” on critical opportunities. They might get a fairly decent academic education, but alas! Their lives will regrettably be stunted due to the lack of appropriate social exposure. Major milestones of adolescence will be glossed over, unsung. Customary highlights of the school experience will be non-existent, or else a mere tepid blip. These children’s lives will be narrow, unexciting and one-dimensional and they will be ill-prepared for the “real world.” Is this all true? I’m going to speak on this here and now. Folks, I’m here to tell you, as a home-school graduate: I missed out. I missed out on the exciting opportunity of being forced to learn at the pace of the slowest person in the class. I also missed out on not understanding a topic and having to guess my way through because the teacher was too busy to help me. Understandably, this left major holes in my educational experience. I missed out on all the liberal revisionist history and the evolutionist perspective that is taught in institutional schools. I had to read works written from a Christian worldview or had to read original sources. This, naturally, stunted me severely. I missed out on the constant boyfriend/girlfriend game so common amongst young folks who hang out with their peers all day. This meant I never had a string of broken relationships that left permanent wounds in my heart. I feel exceptionally deprived over this, as you can imagine. I missed out on constant peer pressure to conform to the latest fads. I had to choose my clothes and accessories based on what looked tasteful and appropriate, not on which garish or immodest things were all the rage. This, of course, left me vastly ill-prepared to enter the mature adult world. Everyone knows adults in the business world choose their clothes strictly based on the latest fads, you know. I missed out on youthful crudity and sex education. When I hear something crude or intimate body parts casually discussed in mixed company, I wince inwardly, rather than being desensitized to it. Obviously, this warped me for being any good to God’s kingdom. Doesn’t God call us to be of the world but not in it…or something? I missed out on a “real” graduation—that is, walking across the stage in a gown that looks exactly like everyone else’s, being just one of many among dozens (or hundreds) of people I don’t even know. Instead I graduated among friends at a homeschool convention, wore a special dress, had my diploma presented by my parents, and even made a short speech. The fact that my graduation was so friendly and customized instead of being formally impersonal has, of course, kept me awake at nights. I missed out on the prom too. That’s really sad, because everyone knows a prom is a defining point of a person’s existence and no one, from Adam to George Washington, has ever been happy without one. The fact that I have since participated in many formal historical balls in a fabulous satin hoop-skirted dress will never be able to compensate for it. I missed out violence and bullying. I never got to walk the halls of a school fearfully wondering if something dangerous was about to happen to me and dodging leering, lustful looks. I had to content myself with a horrible grimace from the cat when I tried to feed her wormer pills. This state of affairs is extremely lamentable. I missed out on having a poor relationship with my family. Because I was around them so often, I was forced to learn to deal with their quirks and to learn to appreciate their good points. This meant that my mother, father and sister became my best friends and our family is very close-knit. I know, isn’t that awful?   I missed out on mindless “hanging out” being my favorite activity. I like to do things with friends, but my primary goal is fulfilling my responsibilities and engaging in useful activity. For me, the mall is a place to shop for things I can’t find elsewhere, not my home away from home. Regrettable, definitely regrettable. I missed out on having a traditional life. After graduating from high school I ran several home businesses, several of which I still run, including performing as a harpist, recording CDs, and teaching several dozen piano students. I participated in all kinds of learning opportunities that wouldn’t have been available to me if I was locked into a traditional college schedule. I am able to complete my college degree at home at a flexible pace, so that I can continue with the myriads of other things I am involved in. This out-of-the-box approach has no doubt damaged my inner psyche in ways that Freud couldn’t possibly imagine. I missed out on temptation. I’ve never gotten into drugs or alcohol, engaged in illicit sexual behavior, out-and-out rebelled against my parents, or turned my back on my Christian faith, like so many of today’s young folks. Because of constant parental love and training and the purposeful lack of bad influences during my impressionable and vulnerable years, I became deeply grounded in the Straight And Narrow Way. And can’t you see how it stunted me? So you see? No question about it, homeschoolers miss out. Come to think of it, I missed out on wearing a bullet-proof vest to school too… --------------------------------------- Raquelle Sheen was home-schooled all her life and is currently pursuing her college degree at home. She and her family have been active in the homeschooling community for many years, having served with state homeschool organizations in several states. For more articles by the Sheen family visit www.homeschoolfamilyforum.com. Raquelle welcomes your comments at